Nominee #1-Joe Francis - Girls Gone Wild tycoon charged with tax evasion
This great news comes to us via Mark Frauenfelder one of the awesome gang over at BoingBoing(thanks to Mark, lust for Xeni)
Well well well looky what we have here! Chief ass hat and creator of Girls Gone Wild is in Deep Doo Doo with the feds and is actually (finally) behind bars! The government is charging him with tax evasion, off shoring $$ to avoid taxes and more!read the more here
His attorney, Jan L. Handzlik, said the indictment was unwarranted.DJ J-In case you were unaware this friggin retard was given a chance to work out a compromise on a civil suit and chose to defy and insult the judge in the case resulting in an order of contempt..hey dumbass you shouldn't piss off a judge..NO ONE has that much money.
"The government has chosen to make a criminal case out of what we believe to be, at most, a civil tax dispute," Handzlik said. "We are also disappointed about the timing of these charges in light of Joe's difficulties in Florida. This is turning into a litigation dog pile."
Update:Mark says: The "Girls Gone Wild" guy has now been caught with drugs in his cell. Also trying to bribe a guard with a $100 bill. And the president of the company that produces his DVD's has been charged with smuggling the pills and cash to him in jail.
Nominee #2 Don Imus - Fired for not being funny / Crossing Al Sharpton
You pretty much have to live under a rock in a remote and desolate land to not know why Imus is one of our Nominees. The fucked up thing about this situation is that Imus has said this kind of shit for years and nobody really cared. Now I don't approve of what he said, he's also an ass hat, but the real crime was that he happened to catch Al Sharpton on a bad day when he was looking for a whipping boy. You see things haven't been going Al's way lately. First there's the revelation that he's related to Strom Thurmond. Then the Duke Lacrosse players are exonerated of ALL charges against them. Sooooo....Imus loses his job for cracking a completely unfunny joke. Here's what we learned from Imus...1.) You can't say "nappy headed" unless you're African American (not African American like Barack Obama, but African American like Snoop Dogg, or the Author of the children's classic, )2.) You cannot call a female basketball player who just won a championship a "hoe" unless you have sufficient proof of her hoe-y-ness. 3.) If you lack a sense of taste and humor you are a target for attack and unworthy of forgiveness. (Damn that's not gonna bode well for Carrot Top. They might kill him for sucking as bad as he does.) Either way Imus is candidate #2
Nominee #3 Tag Team Al Sharpton/Jesse Jackson - For being the most racist dynamic duo in America
These two have a long history of ass hattery. Al Sharpton, who brought us the fucking disgrace that was the Tawana Brawley incident and entered the phrase "race-card" into the lexicon of American speech & Jessie "hymie town" Jackson, who's only real claim to fame is being close enough to take the bullet for Martin Luther King Jr. and not being close enough to actually take the bullet. There comes a point in time where some people should just be ignored These two have bumbled and stumbled through more comical bull shit than all the other self professed "civil rights" figures combined. Yes they are worse than Farakhan, and the Black Panthers, and MOVE combined. I'd rather spend the night spooning Mumia Abu-Jamal than spend 2 minutes with either one of these fuckers. I am still not entirely sure why the African Americans don't rise up and (to borrow from Lewis Black) "slay them!" Sharpton began on his syndicated radio show and soon after Jackson lent his fat fucking mouth to the din created by the bug up Sharpton's ass over the Imus remarks. Sharpton, who is the Jessica Fletcher (Murder She Wrote) of the African American community (wherever he shows up there's trouble) decided to make a week of vilifying an inconsequential radio show host over the words "nappy" and "hoe" cause he really didn't have anything else to do. Thus began an escalation of nothing into something which will, like everything Sharpton gets involved in, evaporate back in to nothing once he's sucked the $$$ out of it. What's next for Al and Jesse? I can only hope a root canal, colonoscopy, and an appearance on the Tyra Banks show during Tyra's Diet Week. That'd be fair.
Honorable Mention: Katie "I just read the shit the tell me too" Couric
You might have missed this one in light of all the other fucking bullshit but apparently Katie Courics heartfelt and personal thoughts in Katie's Notebook are not only less than personal, they are, at least in the case of a piece posted on April 4th, completely someone else's work. The videos are part of the "Couric & Co." warm and fuzzy web pieces. This particular video was a word for word plagiarized from a Wall Street Journal column by Jeffrey Zaslow that was published in March. This earns Katie an Honorable Mention cause 1.) It's a crying shame that she failed in the most basic due diligence expected of a news anchor in at the minimum checking the story out and 2.) Cause I have one of my weird crushes on Katie and this does somehow make her less desirable to me.
So it's up to you Yamagooers...Vote, vote, vote! Winner announced Sunday!
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